When Money Becomes an Issue...

I honestly hate money... Everything now days involve money. Moving, Shopping, Owning a business (Grand Opening) Paying bills, paying for rent, college yeah everything just involves the Green dough these days and i like money when its not an issue. But seriously it gets soo freaking annoying my parents have been in a financial mess since i was little. We struggled when me and Eric were kids and i just gotta say i freaking hate living in this situation. I don't pay rent for this house we live in but to know that we end up moving and just makes it annoying as heck. Ever since 2005 thats when we started the moving situation things never worked out right for us we thought moving to Las Vegas Nevada was the right thing to do and my dad got a good job there so we packed up and left. We thought things were great there and we'd never live here in Utah ever again but nope things didnt pan out to well with thatt when the econmy crashed. We were doing okay with all that money we got after my grandma passed away. But now we are totally broke its so nice to live poor I hate it. We struggle big time around christmas. Just greatful for what i have. Im soo sick of lending my parents money seriously if im not gonna keep doing this the rest of my life. Or the rest of their life. Cause then it makes me wonder if im gonna be in a financial mess. Which i wanna avoid the best thing possible if anything i wanna avoid the financial mess all together i just wanna live comfortable with money. Be able to get my kids a college fund so they can have money for college or whatever they decide with it. I just hope they can pay me back that full mount of money they owe me cause it just is maddning
to know that here i help my parents to keep us from struggling soo bad. Im just way to nice that i end up giving money to help my parents get by for awhile. But honestly i dont wanna keep lending them money anymore. its my money i hate giving it to them and realizing i cant spend anything cause i have nothing and theres things i could really have right now but i gotta wait. My parents try their best to give us the best of things in life. They gave us the best christmas ever every year so far. but it sucks to live like this. We possibly might end up moving next month if anything. who knows. But hopefully one day this mess comes to an end. cause im sick of this. I wanna be able to do something with my own life too. Cant keep putting my dreams on hold cause i dont have money or enough of it to fullfill my dreams. I worry ALOT!! now since were in this mess I dont want it for my kids either.
I wanna be able to do ALOT with my kids someday when i have them. And i wanna give them the best christmas ever and give them the best in life. id hate to live poor the rest of my life. :(