Gotta Love Brothers

Tonight at dinner i had a serious talk with my 12 year old brother. Lately he's been mean to me and saying stuff that hurts my feelings and wants me to leave for good all cause i have " no feelings" and this really hurt my feelings. I got sick of him telling me to go die or even go kill yourself that really hurts coming from a brother one that was my Best Friend it's like he doesn't want me are around anymore. This is what hurt the most tonight when i talked to him about it he thought it was funny to tell me to go die or kill myself. Like you don't joke about it at all death is something serious you do not wish death upon anyone. He laughs and smiles about it every time he tells me to do this. My parents are warned of what he has been saying he thinks i have " No feelings" cause i never cry. Excuse me i do have feelings sure i'm happy all the time yes i do cry at times what am i supposed to do cry every minute of the day? noo i rather be happy and laughing more so than crying all the time.
As i was talking to my brother Paul about this knowing we have a bond that can not be broken and he's my best friend even though were 9 years apart. I love this kid to death he's my brother my sibling and i support him in everything he does and puts his mind to and yet i don't say go die or kill yourself to my own brother I'd never ever say that to my brother in a million years that i'm alive. So i said what am i supposed to do would you like it if i told you oh go die or go kill yourself? He said he wouldn't like it. Of course you wouldn't like it that hurts feelings. I asked him why do you get so happy and excited over wanting me gone like you don't want me around anymore? he's like cause i'd like to have you gone and responding to him i said well than one day i'll be gone maybe one day i'll move out and you'll rarely see me one day i'll eventually die and you wont see me anymore. I honestly wanted to cry during dinner tonight. I'm like you won't see me every day you won't be able to see me here at home one day when you come home from school you'll be like oh she's gone. I asked him how he honestly would feel if i was gone since he doesn't want me around and he said i'd miss you and i'm sorry for treating you this way. I told him this makes me just want to up and leave just so you know what it feels like missing your sister. I don't think i will do anything fun with him for awhile and because of him treating me this way there was no school the Monday before last Monday and he ended up punished and made him clean the house and he hated it but that's what he gets for it. I didn't ever ask why he wants me gone but i certainly wouldn't do this to him and maybe one day he will be able to treat me nice and hang out with me and have some fun with me. I'm just sick of his freaking attitude and the way he treats me that's what i don't understand i don't treat him like  crap but he treats me like crap the way i don't deserve to be treated.