My Opinion on Depression, Suicide and Drugs

Yesterday I was asked if I ever thought about suicide and tempted to do it. As i was telling the reason why I don't think about suicide or tempting to do it. I have never thought about suicide or tempted to do it never have never will think about doing it. I know people that struggle so bad with depression and it gets so bad to the point they wanna run away they wanna die they wish they were never born they just wanna get their life over with. I may not know what that's like cause i don't think like that or tempt to do it but i get it enough from a few friends i know that are struggling with depression its not fun hearing anyone talk about it or tempting to do it I can't stand the fact that someone so depressed just wants to kill themselves and get their life over with. Sure it might solve their problem of unhappiness and they can be happy after they die knowing they left the earth so young but it only hurts the loved ones and the friends that care so much about you and love you. Sure i live this happy positive life style no it hasn't been easy I've only gotten depressed a few times in life but I get rid of it fast I won't let it take over my life and than i find stuff that makes me happy again after being in a depressed mood. 

I was also asked if I do drugs. When i said No i don't they said why not? Because that's not who I am i don't do drugs I'm drug free. Than that ended with well your a boring person. I'm sorry I'm 21 years old sure I'm legal to buy a drink but that's not me that's not who I am I'm drug free I don't do drugs I'm sorry if I'm a boring person i rather be boring anyways instead of being high off something or getting drunk all the time besides i find ways of having fun with out drugs. I'm not gonna judge or hate anyone for doing drugs especially if some of my friends do drugs that's their life they live it the way the wanna live life so I'll live life the way i wanna live it. 

I think i surprise some people when they find out that I'm drug free and that i'm not living the most depressed life style things haven't been easy i still manage to put a smile on my face and pull through it but that's me and that's what my life style is like and that's my opinion and i'm glad that i didn't get judged for it either when i responded with my answer they just wanted to know why and that's okay.  

5 Years Since We Moved Back

Can't believe its already been 5 years since we moved back to Utah from Las Vegas. I think we regret that move more than anything now. I wish we could just give Las Vegas a second chance it was fun living there it was like a vacation nothing really bothered us and we weren't having so much family problems. I hope sometime we can give Las Vegas a second chance again Just like we did when we moved here to Utah. 5 years has really flown by fast and a lot has happened in the 5 years we've been here. Its crazy I miss Las Vegas more than anything right now I wish we never moved back to Utah in the first place. It sucks the economy crashed but if it wasn't for that in 2008 I wouldn't be here in Utah I wouldn't meet the cool friends i have I wouldn't be no where that I am now I probably would but it would be different. But I was very happy in Las Vegas once i got used to the heat oh I love the hot weather Vegas has and of course i didn't have to put up with any drama here of course i missed my friends and family here but i made some friends in Las Vegas not much but a least a few friends are there that i know. Wish we could take it all back and live life in Vegas again and not have to worry about anything here at all. Maybe we really do need to move back to Las Vegas and forget living in Utah again I know my friends would hate me again for it but we gotta do what we gotta do if its meant to be things happen for a reason and Utah hasn't treated us right either we seem to have some bad luck here all the time hopefully we will decide soon on what to do and where were going.

2nd Big Thing for 2014

I'll be getting surgery done hopefully by the end of next month. My Jaw decided to screw up on me went crooked and slanted its been nothing but painful and I also got TMJ really bad it hurts so I made the decision to get it fixed I'm just waiting to see the oral surgeon since we dont have the money right now but its becoming more painful when my Jaw locks on me i end up in pain and it hurts so bad when it locks on me I cant even open my mouth at all. Its been constantly popping and cracking it hasnt been the same since before New Years last year and its just getting worse and its getting noticeable my mom noticed it and now the swelling is starting to show up now. I love my smile I'd do anything to get it back to normal I wish i knew what was going on and how it really happened but i dont know at this point. I can't wait to get this all taken care of and get my smile back it will be nice to have it back to normal (:

First Big Thing of 2014

We are moving in 3 months and its putting us through a lot. Moving is not even fun anymore. 7th move is under way and were barely just getting stuff cleaned up getting rid of crap we don't want anymore. This has got to be the longest moving process ever. But were happy and excited to be moving out of this house it will be nice. A new house is what we need the most right now. Its been pretty crazy and hectic and its put stress on me and my family to get everything done. Were slowly finding us a house to live in. Hopefully this is the last move we make for the next 2 years. I don't mind moving but dang having to keep packing and unpacking is getting quite annoying to do its like repeating over and over again. I honestly dont know how we do it. I'll be glad when this is all over with. 

New Year New Friends

Lemme just say 2014 is treating me good so far. Its a new year and I made 2 new friends today these 2 boys came over they were so hot. They introduced themselves and wanted to talk to me for awhile hahaha my reaction when i found out there was 2 boys outside from me was like Oh my gosh hot boys LOL but they were so nice and cool they are from the singles adult ward which i've been wanting to go to lately.
Its nice to finally meet some new friends. Just what i needed for a bad day though. They made it some what better. Couldn't stop smiling either. I wasn't shy either as much so i can tell i diffidently am breaking out of my shy shell. It was fun talking to them for awhile. I'll get to see them again soon too since they are gonna start inviting me to some fun things this year and who knows maybe i'll start dating someone special this year too.

No Big Deal.. It's a crush (;

Its been 3 years since i had a crush on my best friend Dallin (; Sure he's on a mission in Chile but dang I still find him hot and attractive more than ever. But I can't help it I still get lovey dove over him. I don't know why but its like something about him has me going for him. And he knows how i feel about him. A least he's cool about it and glad i told him. I shouldn't even be falling for him. I still don't understand why and how i fell for him but my heart won me over in this and i can't fight the feelings either. He's the reason I forget how to breathe. He just makes me so happy! (; I get butterflies just thinking about him too. hahahaha okay i'm done getting all lovey dove over him now. hahaha.

First Post for 2014 (:

Yay! 2014 is finally here. (: Time to begin the new year. I'm so happy and excited for this year. 2013 what a year it has been. Now its time to put 2013 in the past and forget everything that happened last year. I hope nothing gets in my way cause i got a lot to accomplish this year. 2013 was a life lesson that was learned the hard way and i have found myself a lot of times and I have only gotten more headstrong. Here's to 2014 please be a good one to me. Whats done is done everything that happened is in the past and i'm not in the mood to hear about what happened 2 years ago. Bring it on 2014 (:  I'll try and update this as much as possible through out the year Happy New years everyone!