I've Decided

I'm soo ready to make some new friends in my area or aleast here in AF. (American Fork) I am kinda feeling friendless at the moment. Nobody hardly talks to me. I've seen some Teenage boys that live next to us. Im gonna try to make friends with them. But im afriad to make friends cause im afraid we will pack up and move again. This is why i dont like moving at all. But it happens hopefully this will be the last move as a family until i move out own my own someday. I guess im not used to being outta school when i was in school i was surrounded by friends now that im done its like okay.  I need some friends around here to hang out with. Its deffiently time to make some new friends aleast have someone to hang out with everyday. Id like it alot it will make me feel better that i have someone to talk to here. But most deffiently wanna try and meet some new friends so sick of this feeling. I love meeting new people and making new friends.

Soo sick and tired of boys looking at me like they can use me. I'm feeling soo uncomfortable with boys right now. Seriously i wonder if i asked tthem the question i've been asked i wonder if they would know how i feel. I don't mind boys but when they are sickminded and perverted it makes me feel soo uncomfortable. I know about sex. Im not dumb i know how sex works. I know im young and these old guys just think im cute hot or whatever and they think they can use me like that. It makes me soo disgusted. Ecspecially if they are married thats just wrong seriously just cause once they had what they had doesnt mean they can use young girls. They probably think i will fall for this or whatever they have planned. Im just not in the mood to talk to boys or look at them right now the way i feel. Theres this Boy at walmart that works there he's never sounded soo much better to get to know. Maybe i need to let go of my guy friends and start over. But it makes me like this one guy a whole lot more. It just makes me wanna cry how Guys like this wanna use me like that. How dare they i cant believe it. Its sick and wrong. Wish i could just slap them upside the head maybe it will teach them im to young but they dont care. Just cause im young and i still have it or whatever they want it sucks that they just think of girls like this. Id pick a 20 year old guy over a 40 year old perv or any other sick minded perv any day. I just feel like ever since this one guy made me feel uncomfortable I just dont wanna talk to guys anymore not even my guy friends. Im soo sick of putting up with sickminded pervs I deffiently learned my lesson not to talk to boys when they are sickminded. I just want a normal boy that doesnt look at me like this.  gosh. Idiots these days.

I'm Just Loving Life I couldnt be happier! :)

I am one happy girl. But lately i couldnt be more happier. :) Im just loving life! Its been the best. Ecspecially getting my haircut. and being able to curl it finally. :) and i got to color it too. Love it! I do need a massage though. :) and im still single but im loving it. Cause i always dont need boyfriends in my life. Im not like my friends that just need a boyfriend and all that sure its what they want but its deffiently worth the wait. Because i'll end up with mr right guy! Yes someday he will be seen with me in my life. Single life does get lonely somedays i wish i had a boyfriend and theres days where im just happy all together with out one yes he will make me happy someday. I seriously just love life i know through the hard and the easy times we have. I find happiness still even though i have had to deal with a death in the family. I love her and miss her alot. She was my grandma im proud to call her my grandma and i know she wants me to be happy and i know i'll see her again someday again. for now she can enjoy paradise and I know she's very proud of me. :) I've been blessed with so many great things. My family is a big part of my life they are the people in my life i need most ecspecially my friends we have some fun times and i know how to have fun even though im drug free. Seriously theres ways we can have fun with out getting drunk and all that. I honestly couldnt be more happier and ever since i graduated high school the feeling of the weight being lifted off my shoulders and just feeling soo much freedom. and im soo happy going to UVU getting the chance to go to an elementary school to help out kids. I love kids they are soo fun to watch. But i dont know if im ready to be 20 just yet i know thats far off but id like to be 19 for a little longer. i've had my ups and downs not really depressed or  stressed feeling but i just been able to keep positive I have some good friends i surround my self with some good people. all though were all not perfect but still i keep my head held high and know i can do anything i put my mind to.  i never give up on anything. and i know im here for a reason. Im living my life to the fullest til my day comes for me to go to heaven. Im not letting the depressed stressed sad feeling ruin my life. Most deffiently im proud of myself my parents and family are soo proud of me too. I cant wait to see where i end up in the future. Im up for one adventure and i know i'll make myself happy alot. :) and the moments when i see babies i just gotta say sometimes i cant wait to be a mommy. Sometimes i get this thought in my head like awee i cant wait to have one of my own. and i think that will be the best thing to happen to me. :) 

There's this Boy... Sometimes I Just Wanna Tell Him How I Feel.

Soo theres this boy i like alot. Sometimes the feeling i get about him builds up soo much I wanna tell him soo bad. But i dont know hahaha who knows what im waiting for. Goodness. Sometimes i even get butterflies soo bad like the nervous feeling and i just wanna puke. Just something about this boy amazes me and sometimes I cant help but think of him and just smile. If i hear his name and his voice i just get this feeling inside of me. I have a feeling its going to come out i just dont want to akward our friendship.
I could write it all out of how i feel and he would never know about it. I started telling my Best friend about him and i asked him for his oppinion and he said yes you should totally go with it tell him how you feel. Soo now he's helping me hahaha i was trying to do it one time but then i got soo nervous butterflies and stuff and i just felt like puking and said to myself i cant do this. But someday he will know how i feel about him even if someone else has to tell him for me. :) I just been dying to tell him how i feel.